Quest for the Cream Pie Remover
by wackyonly
Summary: Jake and Chance are now in a crisis of flying cream pies, and cameos all over the place! Will they be able to save Megakat City before it got creamed?


Hello all, this is a simple Swat Kats adventure starring Jake Clawson and Chance Furlong, with an associated of , well, cameos of other cast. Nothing is to be taken seriously. No one is hurt during the ordeal. Just that everyone is assumed insane at the start of the story. Finished product. Please give some reviews, bad or good :)  
  
******************************  
  
Quest of the Cream Pie Remover  
  
"CHANCE!!!" Jake yelled at the top of his voice.  
  
"Hello, I have been waiting here for ages!" a raven-hair teenager complained while standing beside her Sony brand car like a log. Her phone rang.  
  
"Oh... daddykin! They are so slow!"  
  
"Sorry madam! CHANCE!"  
  
"Coming coming!" Chance yelled back, shoving a durian into Jake's palms. Jake immediately threw it into the car's engine.  
  
"...Yucks! who threw this in?!" shrieked a voice, and out came a demented looking chihuahua. "Can't I have some peace in sleep?!" it flared with his mouth open wide as a washing machine needed to repair. It then grabbed its pillow and left in a huff.  
  
"That is the last time I am going to let him bring some weird creatures to my mansion for his weird mystery stories! Hmph!" the girl retorted to no one, threw a gold card into Jake's hands and said, "Bye boys! You are such a darling!"  
  
"Open sesame!" she commanded, and a wall slid open beside her car. Got in, and drove off.  
  
"Boy... she called me a darling..." Jake stared at the off screen car in daze.  
  
"She called me darling!" Chance countered back.  
  
"Me!"  
  
"Me!"  
  
Splat! A cream pie landed on Chance's face.  
  
"See! I am the one she loves!" Jake said haughtily.  
  
Splat! Another cream pie landed on Jake's face.  
  
****************  
  
"Gloup!" A green dinosaur was eating all the cream pies it can find.  
  
"Stop! You are under arrest!" An enforcer wearing some stupid round hood ran up to it.  
  
"Gloup!" The dinosaur eat him.  
  
"OMFG! You killed Kenny!" a princess wearing a white dress and two buns on her head next to the dinosaur yelled! She then ran towards the nearest pumkin carriage with her phaser. "Fungus Grove please, but not through Plane of Knowledge." she instructed the carriage driver.  
  
"Seen enough of these," Jake commented as he walked down the lane with Chance. The two kats decided to close the shop early so they can escape any pies.  
  
Splat! A cream pie landed on Jake's face.  
  
"Ha ha ha," Jake repeated in a robotic tone over a mike.  
  
"Thank you for you comments. Now to Channel 5."   
  
"Jake! Look! "Cream Pie Remover!" Chance signaled Jake over to a huge signboard saying 101% sale!  
  
"Great lets go look look see see!"  
  
The duo walked up. Suddenly a crowd plummeted past the duo. Both kats lie on the ground flat.  
  
"NO! All are gone! We were so close!" Jake screamed at the top of his voice, again.  
  
"We are on a quest to get one!" Chance's fury shot up high!   
  
Suddenly, cream pies are flying all over the place.  
  
"Wah hahahahaha! Soon the world will be mine!" A mouse emerged from a hole, raised by a platform.  
  
"Gee, don't things always ended up in our cage?"  
  
"Jake! Head for the table!" Chance yelled while running for cover.  
  
"Super heroes do not take cover!" Someone, with a red underwear wearing outside, crossed his arms like a, well, cross, and sent a beam up the mouse.  
  
"Take that you rodents!"  
  
"Peace, my children. Only the tranquil shall stand." A grey rat wearing a brown robe spoke out of the racket. A pie hit his face.  
  
The place exploded, cream was all over the place.  
  
"Nice try, super hero," Chance jeered.  
  
"Hey, how can I know whether to wear blue underwear instead of red?" Jake answered back with no meaning.  
  
*********************  
  
"We need to get one of the Cream Pie Remover! That is the only cure for the endless pie toss!" Chance talked to himself in the mirror. He felt more charismatic. Meanwhile Jake had taken out their dinner, knelt forward and put them on the floor.  
  
"Come on! You are such a chicken!" Jake laughed at Chance while kneeling forward again to get his dinner. A cow with big udders laughed along.  
  
Chance hacked through a dungeon and joined Jake. A woman wearing some stupid pink suit and pink mask and a woman wearing some stupid yellow suit and yellow mask walked up, grabbed the dinner and starting talking with Jake about the weather. Chance found the serving plate empty. He flung his arms around and they ended up above his head while groaning.  
  
After dinner, the two kats sat down and decided to watch tv. A cream pie slapped the screen of the tv.  
  
"That's it! I'm going to get the Cream Pie Remover! Simply..."  
  
"..irresistable! *music* Simply irresistable!" some spear girl sang through the tv showing a drink.  
  
"Its out of stock, buddy!" Jake reminded him. "Who knows when it will be in stock!"  
  
A coyote flashed a sign at them It will never be produced cuz it is now the Bird Remover! Mwah hahahaha and got ran over by a train.  
  
"OMFG! Now we need to steal one!" Chance pressed his palms up his cheeks, looking horrified.  
  
"I think I can build one..." Jake said, quite uncertain about it.  
  
********************  
  
"Well, how izzt?" Chance paced up and down the wall while Jake was trying to whip up some potato salad.  
  
"Nice."  
  
"Boring!"  
  
"Ok, my newest invention!" Jake snapped his fingers, and a human wearing a hat and a coat with two similar robots appeared.  
  
"Duh."  
  
The human took off his head.  
  
"AH!" Chance shrieked, and fell to the ground full of roses and flying petals with a pink, sparkling background.  
  
"...so this is love... hm mm mm mm..." A prince on a horse travelled towards Chance.  
  
"Oh you!" A lady suddenly woke up beside a spindal. She pulled Chance.  
  
"He's mine, buster! Lay off!" Another lady with seven short guys pulled Chance the opposite way.  
  
"Buddy! Help! Molest!" Chance pleaded.  
  
"Ssh! I thinking of my next move!" Jake ssshed Chance, and back to the chessboard. "Well missy?" he signaled the opponent, some long hair brunette in black suit.  
  
"Dont move here!" A boy beside her with a hamster told the girl.  
  
"Would you just go play with your hamster."  
  
"Do not teach Boo to suck eggs!"  
  
"For the fallen!" a half elven woman screamed. She got creamed with a pie on her face by Jake.  
  
"Ok, this invention will..."  
  
"Yes? Yes?" A crowd of small blue people with white caps on their head gathered up around Chance and Jake.  
  
"let you fart big time!"  
  
A big BUUUWTH out from Chance.  
  
Both Jake and Chance fainted.  
  
********************  
  
"Duh.... I think I have one of the smelliest dream..." Jake woke up dreamily. He saw some guy next door through the window, trying to water his crops, tomatoes, corns and onions. Summer crops. He turned blue, and fainted.  
  
"Chance... Chance, wake up!" Jake pushed Chance around, into some rice, bundle up and said "Sushi ready!"  
  
"Knock it off, Jake... man... I really fart big time..."  
  
"Guess my invention does not work..."  
  
"What you need is some magic," a black cat(yes cat) flicked its fingers, and came a robot , round and blue, walking through a door.  
  
"Opps, wrong place," the robot said, then put its round paws(?) into his pocket. Out came a...  
  
...pie on Jake's face.  
  
"Help! I'm under attack!" Jake yelled.  
  
"This is Callie! Where are you?"  
  
"We are at some tournement! Help!"  
  
"PSYCHO BALL!"  
  
"POWER GEYSER!"  
  
Everywhere was pink and orange! Both the kats yelled, "Scooby Doo, where are you?!"  
  
All of a sudden, a flash of pink, green and blue carried them to some cartoon country.  
  
"The city of Townsville! Where cream pies are flying all over the place!"  
  
"Callie called the phone to inform us to save two kats!" The little girl in pink chirped happily.  
  
"Some scaredy kat! Hahahah!" The green one snorted.  
  
"Dont listen to her! She is not her!" The blue one shouted.  
  
"YES!" and out she pulled her head, a masked duck in purple cape appeared. "I am here to do justice!"  
  
"Boring!" Both Jake and Chance sang.  
  
********************  
  
"Callie, you need us?" Jake said through the hammer.  
  
"Jake, that is a hammer. Here is the phone." Chance handed Jake a loaf of bread.  
  
"No! She moved just today! Don't listen to him, Margaret! You'll be fine." A nerdy turtle said to the loaf of bread. A wallaby in blue with purple triangles pulled the turtle away.  
  
"Guess I have to use my boots," Jake sighed, and pulled out his boot.  
  
"Hello? Callie?"  
  
"Swat Kats! You will not believe this!"  
  
"What? Someone is attacking Megakat City again!"  
  
"Care Bears are 101% off!"  
  
"No kidding? On my way!"  
  
Dressed up fast, Jake pulled his green plumber cap carefully, and jumped into a pipe. Chance donned on a shades, grabbed a bike, and yelled "Let's rock, and roll!"  
  
Both of them reach the Mall only to find Dark Kat bought all of them! "Yes! The collection of Care Bears are mine!"  
  
"Stop that Dark Kat!"  
  
"Swat Kats! You will not spoil my plan! Hi~ya!" Dark Kat kicked Razor. Razor slapped Dark Kat back with a plunger.  
  
"May the Holy Star cleanse you!" T-Bone, with a staff up the air and two long, very long ponytails, screamed at the top of his lung.  
  
"T-Bone! You are wearing my sailor suit!" Razor spat his words, only to have a big meteor landed on his head.  
  
"Opps, forgive me," a woman in green with long black hair apologized to Razor after her sorcery. A cream pie landed on her face.  
  
Razor crawled out of the pile, and looked for Dark Kat. He was with some plastic people.  
  
"I can be queen of your life, I can beg on my knees..." Dark Kat sang.  
  
"Oh I love you Ken!" the female plastic cooed, and kissed the male doll.  
  
"Dark Kat! I had you cornered!" Razor signaled the a guy flying on some metal plate full of static to make a corner out of metal.  
  
"That corner?" Dark Kat asked.  
  
"Yes, with free 10 days stay at a 5 star hotel, luxurious view of some of the greatest wonder! Now, R S T L N E, your pick."  
  
"W X Y and A," Drak Kat answered back.  
  
"You just won a million dollar!"  
  
"I cannot believe it! He answered all 15 questions correct!" T-Bone said with surprise.  
  
A big million dollar fell on top of Dark Kat. Mayor Manx shouted gleefully, " Yes, the Swat Kats save the day!" and a cream pie landed on his face.  
  
"Razor, we may have stopped Dark Kat from taking all the Care Bears, but we still need the Cream Pie Remover," T-Bone whispered at Razor while toying with his ponytails.  
  
"I know, but it is still our duty to undo evil," Razor answered back, though his voice is unclear through the thick bushy mostache under his nose.  
  
**************************  
  
"We need to plan..." Jake said matter-of-factly. He threw a map onto the table. "We are here. We need to go here..." He pointed at his token and walk to the GO square. Money flew around Jake.  
  
"Yes! I collect $200 dollars!"  
  
"Good! That will be the price to pay for the remover!" Chance danced.  
  
Both the kats had a tiring day after the battle, and decided to rest at the sofa.  
  
Suddenly....  
  
Splat! A cream pie on Jake's face.  
  
"Freeze!" a girl with silky white hair in blue robe raised her staff up into the air. Torrent of freezing ice blasted through Chance's ear.  
  
"Blaze!" Jake cast. The sofa is on fire.  
  
"Egress!" Chance cast. They are now on bed.  
  
"Oh my goodness!" Jake yelled, and fell asleep. Chance peed on the bed.  
  
**************************  
  
Morning comes again, and the two kats woke up.  
  
"This is going nowhere, Chance," Jake sighed, while opening the garage with a can opener. "With our debt to the enforcers, we will not own one Cream Pie Remover..."   
  
Splat.  
  
Jake wiped the cream off his face, while Chance get ready for work. Just then, a plane flew into their garage, and out jumped a big grey bear in yellow jacket.  
  
"Say pal, mind fixing my jet?"  
  
"You got the Cream Pie Remover!" Jake stared at awe at the machine in the bear's hand.  
  
"This? You can have it." The bear offered Jake.  
  
Suddenly, some cards knocked down the machine. It splated on the greasy floor, melting like on pizza.  
  
"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Jake and Chance sang on the stage.  
  
"Sorry, I think my cards fly to your garage," a young girl with a flying stuff doll ran in and collect her cards.  
  
Suddenly, tornado struck. A lone female figure, with long orange hair and big round red earrings, stood in the center, raised a hand full of magic power, and shouted, "Bow to the great Fried Carrot Cake!"   
  
"We bow to the great Fried Carrot Cake!" some furry creatures called woks or something bow around the shining female. Four mummies appeared and kick the ass out of the figure.  
  
"Wind Card!"  
  
Splat! A cream pie landed on the girl's face.  
  
"See! This is the trouble! Cream Pies!" Jake pleaded to the big bear.  
  
"Oh, sorry, I only have one."  
  
Splat.  
  
Jake wiped his hands after the pie toss. Chance was laughing at himself.  
  
"I'm making an audition... for the reinvention of Cream Pie Remover!"  
  
****************  
  
"Thanks for helping us, Callie," Jake said to the she-kat with Chance in the middle. The three were seated, with a table in from of them.  
  
A kid with a pet robot dog came in.  
  
"You can start now." Jake gestured.  
  
"Susu sususububu dudududu bababababababa" the kid sang.  
  
"You definately have the talant," Callie remarked.  
  
"You are great," Jake commented.  
  
"Wow," Chance wowed.  
  
Jake pressed the down button, and the kid went AAAHHHHHHHHHH........ "Next!"  
  
"This is my latest invention! I call it Defosoilizer!" the dimetrodon in a blue mask explained proudly. He pressed the button, and the word "DEFOSOILIZER" appeared as hologram.  
  
"You definately have the talent," Callie remarked.  
  
"You are great," Jake commented.  
  
"Wow," Chance wowed.  
  
Jake pressed the up button, and the dinosaur went AAAHHHHHHHHHH..... "Next!"  
  
"This is the latest fashion!" a girl in rainbow colors walked around, vibrant colors shine around her. Seven girls in their respective rainbow colors danced around the main girl.  
  
"You definately have the talent," Callie remarked.  
  
"You are great," Jake commented.  
  
"Wow," Chance wowed.  
  
Jake pressed the out button, and the girls went AAAHHHHHHHHHH..... "Next!"  
  
"I am here to hunt X hunt Kats" a boyish young hunter with spiky hair explained.  
  
"You definately have the talent," Callie remarked.  
  
"You are great," Jake commented.  
  
"Wow," Chance wowed.  
  
Jake pressed the bye button, and the boy went AAAHHHHHHHHHH..... "Next!"  
  
"We're tiny, we're toony, we're all the little loonies," two rabbits, a duck, a pig, a cat, a pink bird, a purple dontknowwhatitis sang in harmony.  
  
"You definately have the talent," Callie remarked.  
  
"You are great," Jake commented.  
  
"Wow," Chance wowed.  
  
Jake pressed the byebye button, and the toons went AAAHHHHHHHHHH..... "Next!"  
  
***********************  
  
"This is getting nowhere, Chance," Jake sighed. A pie landed on his face.  
  
"Guess it is the end," Chance said defeated, lying on a pile of sand in a beach. He can see the meteor flying over him. Suddenly, white ethereal smoke engulfed the metoer and smashed it into pieces!  
  
"Beep! Beep!"  
  
"Its Callie!"  
  
"Guess it is the end." Chance said defeated.  
  
"Yes miss Briggs!"  
  
"Swat Kats! The metallikats are attacking the Big Big Hairdo Building!"  
  
"OMW!"  
  
"Guess it is the end," Chance said defeated.  
  
A figure formed before Chance. A ghostly image of a long hair girl in red dress visualized. A pie then landed on her face.  
  
"JAKE! I'm right behind youuuuuuuuu!" Chance jumped and up to the Turbokat.  
  
**********************  
  
"Yes! The city is in the state of cream crisis! All we need is some big afro to go with this evil plan! Wuah hahahahahaha!" Molly sneered.  
  
"HAHAHAHAHA!" A yellow sponge in pants joined in. Mac threw a pie on his face.  
  
"Come on! We need to get moving and put an afro on every Kat!" Mac signaled Molly. "Before the Swat Kats zoned in on us!"  
  
"The Cosmic Lords welcomes you."  
  
"Ah SHUDDUP!" Mac and Molly yelled. They were about to leave with the afros when the Turbokat teleported to the scene.  
  
"Too late, Metallikats!" The turbokat was seen hovering above the building.  
  
"Surrender or be turned into sushi!" Razor commanded. He pressed a button, and cream pies were sent flying from the jet to anywhere allowed.  
  
"Get lost! This is the job of the Enforcers!" Feral appeared, with a sword raised up to the air, and exclaimed, "I am the Kat of the Universe!"  
  
"Boring," Felina, in a goddess dress, with brown flowing hair and blue ribbons floated towards the Swat Kats. "Only you can stop the Metal Kats!"  
  
"Omw! Charge!" T-Bone turned to full blast, and rammed the jet into Feral.  
  
"OMFG! Feral will not lose to you weaklings!" he blasted, and flew into the air with his sword. He went all the way.  
  
Mac, seeing its on his advantage, quickly wore a very big afro and do the 70's. Molly quickly dressed in drag and do the hula.  
  
"Hey! That is my dance!" a meerkat yelled out of the rumble. A pie hit the whole creature back.  
  
T-Bone and Razor, not to lose to then, brought in a Para para dance machine and danced to some cheesy rock techno. Hands were swinging all over the place.  
  
"T-Bone! Stop slapping me!" Razor ouched.  
  
"You are the loser! You stomped on my foot!" T-Bone berated back. He danced so violently that he accidently fired a red lizard with a burning tail out of his Glovatrix. The lizard tail hit Mac's afro.  
  
"Ah! I'm on fire!" Mac sang. He ran all around the place. Soon, all the big big hairs were on fire.  
  
"Mac you stupid! All the hair are on fire!" Molly hollered in astonishment. Soon the whole building was burned down in 1 second.  
  
The Swat Kats pulled themselves out of the charred remains and found the Metallikats.  
  
"You will never stop the Ultimate! Soon the whole will be forever splat by cream pies!!! Mwah hahahahahaha!" Mac yelled while being handcuffed by Enforcers. He got hit with a cream pie.  
  
"Augh SHUDDUP!" Molly talked back at Mac. Splat.  
  
"Oh no, oh no...... if we don't stop the Ultimate, even a Cream Pie Remover will not be sufficed!" This time a purple lizard with wings panicked. He got creamed in the face.  
  
"This is getting out of hand, Razor. Now there is this Ultimate..." T-Bone whimpered. Razor was deep in thought.  
  
"If we get rid of this Ultimate, maybe there will be finally peace on the planet..." Razor mused.  
  
**************************  
  
"Jake, are you sure?"  
  
"Trust me, trust me," a boy in specs and magician robe flicked his wand, and zapped out a piece of cake.  
  
"This is nothing special," some white boy with a big yellow hairdo and black boy with a long-to-the-air hair commented. They got hit with cream pies.  
  
"Chance, I think I have the answer!" Jake finally spoke, and brought out a dictionary. "Pee pee means..." Splat.  
  
"Ok, if this Ultimate is real, then?" Chance asked. Suddenly, the TV screen switched on. It shows Ultimate.  
  
"Yes! I am real! But you need a Cream Pie Remover to destroy me! HAHAHAHA!" The Ultimate inside the TV laughed. The Ultimate then quickly crawled out from behind the TV.  
  
"Great, we still need that machine," Jake sighed, and slouched on the sofa. Chance searched the fridge for a milk drink.  
  
*Ding ding ding ding!* A fanfair sounded, and Chance found a mithril.  
  
"Maybe if we can buy one from someone..." Jake mused unusually. Chance quickly went first person and shoot some ugly monster full of cream pies with the word "MOOD" on its chest.  
  
"Chance... what if Callie has it?" Jake suddenly commented. Callie walked up with the machine and it dropped to the ground, smashed.  
  
"Opps." Callie oppsed, and a cream pie hit her face.  
  
"Guess she does not have now, hmmm..." Jake mused again. He looked out his window. He saw a catfight between a cyan wild-hairdo woman and a purple hair woman with two wooden toilets over some plain guy.  
  
Then, he heard shatters all over the place! He quickly got of his seat and dashed out of the garage. What caught his eyes is some short guy with a bomb in his hand.  
  
BOOM!  
  
Jake's face went black.  
  
"Jake Jake! All the Cream Pie Remover exploded!" Chance ran out of the garage, looking very horrified.  
  
"This is bad," Jake thought. A cream pie hit his face.  
  
Suddenly, cream pies were flying all over the place. Ultimate stood within the flying pies.  
  
"Hahahahah! Now nobody can stop me!" Ultimate laughed maniacally. A cream pie hit Ultimate's face.  
  
Two dinosaurs, one blue and one green, quickly blow lots of bubbles and the bubbles trapped the pies. They hit the bubbles, and the bubbles reveal fruits! But there are just too many!  
  
"Chance! We need to retreat!"  
  
"Jake! No way I'm doing it! I eating my way to Ultimate!" he yelled while munching past the pies.  
  
Jake was hit, and hit, and hit, until he was under a pile of cream. He quickly crawled out, and see a blown-up Chance at the pavement.  
  
"Where is Ultimate?" Jake looked around.  
  
"Uh... I'm full... Jake..." Chance puffed face managed to speak. A frog puppet and a piggy puppet then rolled Chance on his round belly back to the garage. Jake got hit with a pie on his face again.  
  
**********************  
  
Jake fumbled around some gadget, trying to make a new Cream Pie Remover.  
  
"Yes! And that Ultimate thinks Ultimate is the only winner!"  
  
The machine exploded on some kid face with glasses and lab suit. "Quality Control Fail!" he said, then fainted.  
  
"Oh no! Bad QC! That means I cannot build any! It will just go kaboom!" Jake thought. He quickly return to his mind and thought more. An image of three ugly green aliens zapped his dream bubble.  
  
"Beep! Beep!"  
  
"What is it, Callie!"  
  
"Swat Kats! You will not believe this!"  
  
"What? Megakat City under attack again?"  
  
"Dr Viper is having a date with a watermelon!"  
  
"What! This is not allowed! OMW!"  
  
"Guess it is the end," Chance said defeated, lying on some swamp, with something green and gross walked past him.  
  
"Come on!" Razor pulled Chance into a phone booth. "Change inside here!"  
  
"Would you mind queueing up first?" a guy inside asked rudely.  
  
***********************  
  
"Yes! YES! My invention has finally finished!" Dr Viper lashed his tail around while pronounced his victory. "Now nobody will say dating with a watermelon is illegal!!!"  
  
"Loser," two girls shrugged. Two pies flew towards them. The girl with white hair fringe and wearing 100% clothing all over herself got hit. The other pie just flew through the other girl.  
  
"Neh neh neh neh neh!" She sticked out her tongue. A pie now hit her face.  
  
Dr Viper hugged his watermelon and bring to an open space. "Soon, everyone will be dating watermelons and not pineapples! Bwah hahahahahahah!"  
  
"Dr Viper! You sicko!" Felina pointed her phaser towards Dr Viper. "Kats only date papayas!"  
  
"Never!" Dr Viper yelled, and threw three laughing cockroaches into the Enforcers.  
  
"COCKROACHES!!!! AUGH!" Felina quickstepped around herself. A frog in armor sticked out his tongue and grabbed the cockroaches with his tongue and ate it.  
  
"GROSS!" A ponytail girl wearing white tube and sandels freaked out.  
  
"Listen! Even I fail to catch you, the Swat Kats will!" Felina pulled out a movie posters titled "Swat Kats, The Radical Sqaudran" with Razor's and T-Bone's signatures on it.  
  
"Hah! The two kats are losers! They only date lychees!" Dr Viper sneered. He proceeded to throw in more cockroaches.  
  
"That's it!" Felina had enough and took out a gadget, shouting, "Changes!" Suddenly a small blue creature with big eyes jump out of the gadget.  
  
"Hello! I may be binary numbers, but I will defeat you!" the creature pointed at Dr Viper. It got hit on the face with a cream pie.  
  
"Oh yeah!" A dog, a cat, and a very rude green bird challanged back. The dog is in scout uniform. All three got hit with cream pies.  
  
"Felina! The Swat Kats are here!" Razor pysetted Felina with a whirl pass with their Turbokat.  
  
"Hah! I know you lychee-daters will appear!" Dr Viper or-i-yo-i-yoed. He climbed up the Liberty Statue and pounded his chest.  
  
"T-Bone, you fly the jet around to distract Dr Viper. I will fly a kite," Razor instructed, and tossed out a kite.  
  
Razor guided the kite to Dr Viper, and said, "Here, hold it."  
  
"Okay," Dr Viper agreed.  
  
WOOSH! The sky poured down ton of cream pies, and all hit Dr Viper. He was flattened on the ground.  
  
"You will never get away from Dr Viper! I will one day make watermelons dateable!" he flung his arms around.  
  
"Great work Razor! For once you did something sane!" T-Bone bearhugged Razor. They exploded.  
  
Cream pies were tossed all over the charred couple.  
  
***********************  
  
"Ok, so Dr Viper has no connection with Ultimate," Chance concluded. He got kicked in the ass by some little ponies.  
  
"Yeah, so is Dark Kat. The Metallikats do know something about this."  
  
Decided, they sprang into action.  
  
"Yap yap yap do bu do!" Chance rapped, wearing a winter cap. Jake wore a flower suit. They became 2-D.  
  
Splat,splat.  
  
"Now, it is either we find Ultimate, or we find a machine," Jake finalized.  
  
"Or a babysitter," a blue and purple monster added while trying to quiet a crying girl. He got hit with a cream pie.  
  
"Hello, detective, can you trace the source?" Chance called through the mirror.  
  
"Sorry, flea season," a dog in coat and hat answered back. He got hit with a cream pie.  
  
"The frequency of getting hit with a cream pie is getting absurdly high," a nerd with a spec and no mouth analyzed for Jake. "According to Normal Distribution, the average chance of getting hit is..." A cream pie hit the nerd's face.  
  
"Must... resist... death... punch..." another woman with triangle hairdo urged. Splat.  
  
"That left the Pastmaster!" Jake stood up abruptly, and flushed the toilet bowl. Chance was hurling a brown beaver in his left hand and yellow in right.  
  
"Get a life kat!" the yellow growled. Both the beavers got slapped with pies  
  
"Come Chance! Lets us get to him first and get an answer!" Jake quickly became Razor.  
  
"Er Jake..."  
  
"What buddy?"  
  
"You did not wipe your backside..."  
  
***************************  
  
Razor rode on a cyboric cheetah now, while T-Bone was frantically clutching to a robotic gorilla swinging about grabbing tree vines.  
  
"RAZOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Relax! Remember our jet was sent to laundry 10 minutes ago? I called up a travel agency for transport."  
  
A girl with a ring shouted "Wind!"  
  
The Swat Kats were hurled out of the carrier seat.  
  
"Opps, sorry!" the blonde apologized. A cream pie hit her.  
  
"Ok, maybe we shall go on foot now..." Razor brushed his shoulders while dodging some pies, point to a building at the horizon. "It is just a quick walk!"  
  
"Quick~walk~" a beastial pink girl with her identical mom and brown brother walk past.  
  
"Augh wah gag zah ert phugggfff!" the male one chanted nonsensically and decided to spin off.  
  
"Now children, you should not rely too much on transport," the mother comforted them. She got hit with a cream pie on her face.  
  
"Great, Razor, now we have to walk!" Chance grumbled  
  
Razor walked to the edge, and pull the background. It showed a woman with a high blue hairdo and peral necklace watching TV.  
  
"Its the Swat Kats! Kids! It is your favourite show!"  
  
"Cool man!" one kid with spiky hair greeted.  
  
"Er.. sorry, wrong page," Jake apologized, and flipped another page.  
  
The page shows the Pastmaster lair, all decorated with rubber chickens and cans of insecticide.  
  
"What... what are you two doing here? I did not invite the two of you?" The Pastmaster questioned then angrily, playing with dolls, one look like a boy with metal hair and in shorts only.  
  
"Now we will ask the contestant for the right price!" the host spoke through the microphone. The crowd with name tags roared and cheered with paticipation.  
  
"Pastmaster!"  
  
The crowd roared and cheered. Pastmaster quickly ran to the first platform. Kinna boring.  
  
"Razor!"  
  
The crowd roared and cheered. Razor ran past the crowd, high five a lot of them, get a quick hair shave revealling an orange crew cut(with bandana on of course), dunked a basketball into a hoop, and get the second platform.  
  
"Chance Furlong the Greatest!"  
  
The crowd roared and cheered. Chance wore military suit, saluted several similar ones beside tanks and cannons, and stripped to singlet and shorts. He smiled crazily while getting to the third platform.  
  
"Callie Briggs!"  
  
The crowd roared and cheered. Callie jumped for joy, and slowly, she let her 100 meter long hair drop down the tower with a window only, and climbed down the hair. Jake wondered how she had done that, but then, nothing is sane here in Megakat City. She hastily got to the fourth platform.  
  
"Now for the prize!" the host talked, and faced a moving wall. It revealed three babes in fighting position, some speaker kept saying "Charlie here!" and... a whole land with elves and humans fighting orcs and goblins. A white robe old man raised his staff and sent lightning bolts towards the orcs. "Lighting effect," he coughed. A pie hit his face.  
  
"Now for your price!" the host now talked to the contestants.  
  
"21000 dollars!" Pastmaster gave, knowing he will sure win.  
  
Razor thought for a while, and said "1 dollar."  
  
"0 dollar!" Chance shrieked out joyously and insanely do a rain dance.  
  
Callie flipped her hair... hair.... hair... all the way to the 100 meter mark, and said simply, " minus 1 dollar."  
  
"And the correct price is..." the host announced. The crowd is now silent...  
  
"You will be given 21000 dollars by accepting this prize, so Callie wins!"  
  
"I have won?" Callie's hair raised, and puncated the ceiling. A woman wearing a blue bra-suit with golden bangles and gilttering walked up with a silvery cloth named "Miss Universe" and a tiara. Covering Miss Universe over Callie and crowned her, thousands of girls ran up and kiss Callie. Callie was all in tears, waved at the crowd while chanting, "thank you thank you!" Blowing kisses around, she walked to the throne and get ready to be seated.  
  
"No! I should be the winner!" the Pastmaster, being a sore loser, grabbed the crown, and tossed up to the air. It exploded. Callie fainted.  
  
"Razor! Come get the Pastmaster and get the hell out of here!" T-Bone signaled Razor. Razor grabbed Pastmaster, stopped a yellow bull cowboy with a marshall star on his pecs. "Taxi! Credit to the enforcers"  
  
"Get on my horse!" the cowboy commanded, so Razor did as told.  
  
T-Bone wore a 3-D glasses and grabbed a flying cyborg.  
  
"Hey! Don't touch my leg! I'm a girl!" The human controller yelled. A pie hit her on the face.  
  
****************************  
  
"Now Pastmaster, without your watch you are nothing but some trash!" Razor circled the tied Pastmaster on a chair.  
  
"Yeah Pastmaster! Now tell us what you know of Ultimate!"  
  
Pastmaster took out palm top, looked inside what contents he had, and said," Ultimate still own me 1 cent!"  
  
"So you know him?" T-Bone pryed answers out of Pastmaster, then sucked his thumb while cuddling a female cat doll with a big ribbon.  
  
"No!"  
  
Splat on Pastmaster's face.  
  
"Yes!" Pastmaster decided to confess seeing Razor brought a bunch of kids and a stupid beagle with pies on their hands.  
  
"You should pick the babies, you know, one of them wearing diapers and always says the world need to be saved?" T-Bone offered. A pie slammed on his face.  
  
"Show me Ultimate!" Razor commanded  
  
"Show me Ultimate!" three chipmunks sang at the background. All three got splated with cream pie. Razor nimbly dodged one.  
  
Pastmaster clapped his hands, and a big yellow bird with a hairy elephant entered the place. They threw pies at the Pastmaster's face, and left.  
  
"I will show you Ultimate!" a voice boomed out. Then...  
  
"Give me a 'U'!" a mermaid tried to make the letter.  
  
"Er... you look like 'Y'," a lobster beside her reasoned. Both got pied.  
  
"Hey," Razor started to talk as if he thought of a very bright idea, "what if we can get the one cent back for you, will you help us defeat Ultimate?"  
  
"Deal!" Pastmaster agreed, and signed on the contract. A skeletenly thin woman took the paper, and said," I am the defendant's lawyer, and..."  
  
A gush of wind blew past. She was hurled up to the sky.  
  
"Ok, lets get on with it!" Razor and T-Bone gave each other a slap on the face. Pastmaster peed on the chair.  
  
******************************  
  
A fat orange cat walked up the fridge and opened it. A cream pie hit its face.  
  
"Nice cat trap, Razor!" T-Bone praised.  
  
"Thanks... now Pastmaster, what have you find?" Razor asked the now freed Pastmaster. A pie hit Razor's face.  
  
"hmmm.... male underwears 99% off..." Pastmaster chanted while deep in thought.  
  
A bean-looking(literally) guy heard the sale and rushed off. T-Bone slid an underwear down his head.  
  
"Yes! Yes! I have found Ultimate!" Pastmaster quickly opened his eyes, and looked quite dazed. Two clown fishes popped out of his eyes.  
  
"That is the last time I'm letting you swim all you like!" the larger one scolded the smaller one, while they wiggled on the floor  
  
"Where!" the two kats asked goofily. T-Bone was sticking his tongue up his nose like an idiot. Razor knew that he had to act fast.  
  
"Ultimate is.... in there!" He pointed to a smelly toilet bowl.  
  
"Told you to flush!" a mature lady with a slasher chased after a blonde boy angrily.  
  
"... I'm not going near that! It is so smelly!" T-Bone gawked at the stench of the toilet bowl. A musclebound blue triceratops with a broken horn walked towards the toilet bowl, and fainted on the spot. T-Bone stunned with eyes popping.  
  
"See! Its toxic!" T-Bone cried and quickly hid behind a nun guiding several convent children wearing pretty hats. A cream pie hit her face.  
  
Seeing things were getting complicated, Razor quickly picked up a fish, dialed a number.  
  
"Hello! Pizza delivery! I want a Hawaiian!" Razor ordered.  
  
Four guys busted in with a green floating goo and shot their phasers at the toilet bowl. The bowl now covered with pizza, but it is still smelly. Cream were oozing out of the bowl.  
  
"Extro-dinary!" a koala was amazed at the sight. He got pied three angle.  
  
"Smell like rotton cheese," Razor thought.  
  
"Daddy! I want neh neh(milk)!" meowed baby T-Bone as he crawled around the floor wearing a damp diapers.  
  
"Could you please change his diapers? It kinna smell," Pastmaster, dressed in a pink kidomo, said absentmindly, while windowshopping for molecules.  
  
Razor in judge clothing, was at the highest court, saying, "Guilty!" to a cat and a mouse.  
  
"Thomas!" a woman showing only her legs screamed. A pie hit her.. eh... well.  
  
Razor, plucking up all courage, quickly ran towards the bowl. He ran, and ran, and ran... you get the idea.  
  
A draconian warlock suddenly appeared. "Behold the power of Chaossssss and Life!" he hissed, and blasted the toilet bowl with whitish flame.  
  
"Yes! I have vanquished the villian! The day is saved!" A cream pie hit his face.  
  
"HAHAHAHA!!!"  
  
That voice.... Razor, Pastmaster, and T-Bone with a pacifier in his mouth stared at the Ultimate in awe.  
  
"Do you really think you can stop me, you weaklings!" Ultimate snarled at them. He was wearing pajamas, blue and white strips, and holding a big stuffed purple dinosaur.  
  
"He loves you, you loves him..." the dinosaur sang.  
  
"Aw SHUDDUP!" Ultimate snarled and threw a pie on the dinosaur face.  
  
"You smell of dumps and rotten cheese," Razor clipped his nose with a cloth clipper.  
  
"SILENCE! All of you shall be the ultimate tool of mockery! HAHAHAHA!!!" Ultimate sang to the air. Dolphins flew by. Flowers were thrown towards Ultimate.  
  
**********************  
  
"Razor! We must do something!" T-Bone shouted at Razor. Both got pied.  
  
"Hah! There is nothing you can do!" Ultimate said with sarscam. "Only one thing can destroy me, and I have destroyed them all!"  
  
"You! You owned me one cent!" Pastmaster remembered and demanded at Ultimate.  
  
"Fool! That time the tax is only 5%! I do not need to pay you that one cent at all!"  
  
"No! That was 4%! You actually paid more!" as told by a girl with ginger hair. She got splated with a cream pie.  
  
"AUGH!" Pastmaster quickly brought out a spoon, and bent it at his will.  
  
"He is crazy all right," T-Bone simply commented while playing blackjack with some monster animals at a farm. All got creamed by pie. T-Bone, expert in dodging, easily dodged the pie.  
  
The pie boomeranged and hit on T-Bone's face again.  
  
Razor did a somersault and tries to kick Ultimate. Ultimate threw a cream pie and bullseyed on Razor.  
  
"Razor! You died!" T-Bone hurried to Razor side and drooled over Razor. Razor quickly took this time to look at his script while faking death.  
  
A black wing female descended, and cast a powerful spell that returned Razor to life.  
  
"That spell was given to me," she remarked. A cream pie hit her face.  
  
Another male chinese man charged and tried to kungfu Ultimate. He kicked the smelly toilet bowl instead.  
  
"YUCKS!"  
  
"Uncle! You forgot the 'Always Clean Talisman'!" a girl shouted at the man. Both got pied.  
  
Pastmaster, with a 100 showing on top of his head, blast out a powerful energy beam towards Ultimate.  
  
"Master! Someone is distorting our time!" A goblin told his human master while flying a spaceship over.  
  
"Bah, probably someone throwing a time walk," a white minotaur with brown patches retorted back. Splat.  
  
"Loser!" Ultimate smirked, and reflected the beam off.  
  
"Yeowch!" The beam hit a sumo's butt. The other two laughed, and got hit by cream pies all over.  
  
A foxman threw a die at Ultimate. Standing beside him is an elkman and a boarman "Guess?"  
  
"Five."  
  
"Wrong!" it showed a seven.  
  
"Since when a die got seven faces?!" Ultimate exclaimed, and slapped the trio with cream pies.  
  
"I'm back!" Razor jumped up, with T-Bone by his side.  
  
T-Bone aimmed his Glovatrix at Ultimate. "Fire!" He shouted, and his butts burst into flames. He danced around aimlessly. Razor slapped his forehead.  
  
"I will show you my ultimate weapon!" Ultimate shouted, and signaled four walking dolls with television in their tummy.  
  
"Ah oh!" the dolls giggled in union.  
  
"NOOOOO!!!!" Razor and T-Bone shrieked in horror! They never saw such a powerful weapon in their life! The dolls were advancing towards them, giggling and smiling. The two kats made a dash to the toilet.  
  
"Ah much relieve..." T-Bone sighed.  
  
"How do you destroy Ultimate?" Pastmaster asked the kats.  
  
"Dunno! But he did mention about the Cream Pie Remover..." Razor said after emerging from the toilet.  
  
"This?"  
  
"That is your watch."  
  
"This?"  
  
"That is just a dog and cat combined. How they pee anyway?"  
  
"This?"  
  
"This is just a bull terrier, an afghan hound and a saint bernard hound."  
  
"Wrong, should be 'these are'," a big gargoyle appeared in teacher suit changed Razor's grammer. He got pied.  
  
"This?"  
  
"What are you doing with a sheep? This is a city!"  
  
Ultimate was tapping Ultimate's foot impatiently. "The director did not paid me for overtime work, ya'know."  
  
"Yes! It must be this!" Pastmaster pulled a Cream Pie Remover out of his left nostril and raised to the air. It shimmered and flared with white holiness, filling up the void with light beam all over the place.  
  
"No! No! No!" Ultimate screamed dramatically, made some turns, and talked about market shares before dissolved into a pile of cream.  
  
...  
  
...  
  
Silence...  
  
"Eh... Razor..."  
  
"Yes... T-Bone..."  
  
"We have not get the one cent back..."  
  
"Who needs it! Now it is time I conquer the world! Mwah hahahahahah!" the Pastmaster yelled. Both the kats punched him.  
  
**************************  
  
It was a new morning. The morning air is as fresh as anyday, and the sound of working kats driving their cars around the neighbourhood is always there. A lean orange kat pulled up the door in his garage. Sniffing the air, he stretched his arms full extent. He remembered there were new metal source given to them by Murray.  
  
"A gift from the Enforcers, I see," Jake smiled gently over the battered metals at the side outside the garage. Slowly he brought them in one by one.  
  
"Guess you need help buddy, ei?" A burly yellow kat walked past Jake while starting to chat casually. Jake assumed Chance was going to take the stuff.  
  
"Where to place?" Chance grunted, holding the biggest he could find. Jake signaled to a relatively empty corner.  
  
"Actually, you can ask for help to move something that big," Jake offered kindly.  
  
"Nah, I have the strength, see?" Chance flexed, wanting to making the lean kat jealous of his muscles. Jake just shrugged.  
  
They were slowly moving in the stuff, chatting over minor things when Chance shot a new topic," Man, I do miss what had happened... it is just like a dream..."  
  
"Woah don't talk about it, buddy! It gives me the creeps," Jake shivered at the thought of going crazy again, like everyone else.  
  
After finished moving everything, Chance grabbed some milk drinks and tossed one to Jake," Just like the old Enforcer days buddy? Prepare to get your tail whipped."  
  
"I don't think so pal," Jake laughed, remembered the little incident on their training. He was expecting cars to arrive at any time for repair when the Swat Kats alarm went off.  
  
"Crud! Its Callie!" Chance blurted out, took a big gulp on his milk, and getting ready to press the switch. He prefered Jake to ask the questions. Jake quickly closed the garage door just in case.  
  
"Yes Miss Briggs! What happened?" Jake asked quickly.  
  
"This is terrible! Swat Kats! This is terrible!"  
  
"Relax Miss Briggs! Which villian is attacking the city now?"  
  
"No, not that! Tomatoes are flying all over the place..." and with that a splat and a Callie's oof can be heard.  
  
Silence.  
  
"No.....No....." Jake whimpered.  
  
"Yes!" Chance, wearing a tiger suit, took a pogostick, and bounced around like mad. "Woo hoo hoo hoo!" Chance cooed.  
  
A car came smashing through the garage door, with dogs wearing metallic armor on it. A yellow mutt asked Jake, "Hey katboy, will yah fix my engine? Some green invader jumped into my car engine and refused to come out!" The only female was filing her fingernail with a dog file.  
  
Splut! A tomato hit Jake's face.  
  
"Hahahahaha....." Jake laughed.....   
  
************************  
  
END!  
  
************************  
  
Ok, the story is kind of stupid, but it is the first time I really write a story, so it is always stupid hahahaha. I welcome any reviews, bad or good. Thanks in advance for your reviews ;) 


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